My boyfriend Kristian is going to join the Navy. It's almost definite now. After three years of undergraduate classes, he's decided that it's time for him to grow up and that college just wasn't doing it for him.
The thought of him leaving me for months on end to pursue a military career terrifies me. Not just because it's dangerous, but because for my own selfish reasons I've become to attached to him. And now the thought of continuing a good portion of our relationship without him is comparative to a crack addict having to go cold turkey.
I refuse. I simply refuse.
He hasn't cared about school for a while and to be honest, I can't imagine what he would do if he did finish his degree. He's right when he tells me he needs structure. I know he would be great if he did join the military. There would be a goal for him, a light at the end of the tunnel. Something he could be proud that he accomplished.
But do long distance relationships even work? What if he changes after the time he serves? Will he be able to see me? Will I be allowed to visit him? These are all the questions I ask myself.
And then I start to think, maybe I need to grow up too. I'm about to go to law school and compete with some of the brightest minds. I figure my bad habit of using "um" and "like" between every other word isn't going to get me very far. Neither will my bad posture, nor my somewhat lacking vocabulary.
But why do we have to grow up? Why can't he just stay the way he is? It's like this world is pulling us into this dark realm of adulthood that we're hardly ready for. Left and right people are getting married, having babies, graduating and joining military forces.
I really am like a child at times. How I remained innocent and carefree all these years is beyond me. But I guess we all have to grow up sometime. I just wish it didn't have to be so soon.
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